I Have the Best Friends in the World

I went out to eat with one of my friends today.  She's one of those people that you don't have a bad time with.  No matter how sad, lonely, angry or distracted you are she can make you not only forget your problems she makes you realize that the problem isn't that big of a deal, even with out talking about it.

She knows how to make the best of a bad situation when the world is falling down around her.  No, her life isn't perfect as no one Else's is you'd never know though with her sunny attitude and spunk that never ends.  She laughs off embarrassment and takes pain the best way possible.  She let my future hubby sleep on her bathroom floor within hours of meeting him (I sure as hell couldn't move him).  She finds the best in even the most unethical people and loves them despite their faults.  I met this girl four years ago and my life has been a little bit brighter since she's been in it.

K Rae I'm so honored that you'll be in my wedding and I can't wait for all the fun and mischief we'll get into this weekend and at the beach

In DZ love and mine,
Ash

Dual Military Life

August 7th 2004
That was the day I took my oath of enlistment. 

I was ready and expecting to go on deployments and see the world even if sometimes I would be sent to some unsavory places, but this was my job, its what I would do.  I don't see this as "answering a call to duty" or "serving my country" because this is what I grew up with.  In a different time not ours if your dad worked in the steel mill that is what you would do when you grew up, I guess I followed in my daddy's footsteps because I'm just old fashioned that way.  It's my job. 

The one thing I never expected was to be the one waiting at home for my other half to come home from a deployment.

November 28th 2008 I left for my first deployment.  Also the same day I first met Patrick my hubby to be.

We're both very lucky in a sense that we are aircraft mechanics in two different areas of specialty him electrical and environmental systems, me fuel systems.  We go where the planes go which is usually somewhere not too dangerous because for once the government has a shred of common sense and doesn't put multimillion dollar aircraft somewhere they could get damaged and we would become unable to complete our missions (in air refueling). 

We are both also lucky because our deployments are a year and a half apart and we can go for as short as a month.


I have just been stressed lately because I feel like I'm all alone.  I moved from my home town to live with the boy where I don't know a single soul, my friends (most live at least an hour away) have all just graduated college and are either working their butts off at a new job or starting grad school and my family just moved to North Carolina.  Maybe, it will change once we have kids but it was so much easier when I was deployed to deal with missing people because you are surrounded with people who are in the same boat and can offer new perspectives on how to deal.  I'm pretty sure this all started when I was off work for a week and a half for the kidney infection, but I've never felt this depressed about being alone but you'll have that when the only things you talk to are your two dogs who aren't very good conversationalists.  Soon this will all be over for another year and a half...

Active duty bases have spouse support groups for this reason this may be only one of  the very few times I am jealous of people who chose active duty instead of guard and reserve.


P.S. This wasn't meant to be all woe is me I just had to get it out please don't feel bad for me because I am well aware that there are millions that are way worse off than I am

Never Have I Ever...

My fiance Pat is deployed right now, nowhere dangerous, or even remotely bad he's actually on a tropical island.  We skype every day sometimes twice a day which is amazing.  I can't express how lucky we are to have the technology to be talking to and seeing someone thousands of miles away in comparison to the three weeks it would take to send a letter.  Usually our conversations are short because either one of us just woke up or is going to bed, but none the less those 15 minutes are priceless. 

Today Pat called while I  was making dinner.  I was chopping and chatting as he asked for more pictures, I send pics every once in a while of crazy things the dogs do and me occasionally if I'm feeling pretty that day.  So I asked him what he wants pictures of BIG MISTAKE.  He said "you, naked." The chopping ceased and I just stared at him like he had five eyes. 

I know that "sexting" and sending naked pictures, using any media electronic or not, are not new things, I'm sure these things happen all the time.  I just can't get over the fact that there will be physical evidence that I in fact was naked.  I'm pretty sure I have naked phobia.... It's not because I hate my body I love the way I look and I've never really had a negative body image I must have missed that class in high school.  I don't know why I'm terrified of being naked I never had an embarrassing moment in which I happened to be naked, no dark secrets from my past.  I'm just very uncomfortable being naked maybe I'm normal and all of these crazy teens are exhibitionists I don't know.

I'm not really sure if I'll send him any pics or not but I did send him a pic of the dogs with the subject naked pics because well, dogs are naked. I'm sure I'm going to get some smart comments from that.


Any advice?

Learning On The Leash...

I love taking my dogs for walks.  Ok, so they've only been on a walk together three times (I know I'm a bad puppy mommy, but they do a lot of running in the yard) and two of those times Pat (puppy daddy/hubby to be) had the crazy 10 month old puppy (Roxy) and I had Gir who is four and weighs as much as I do (THANK GOD HE LISTENS WELL). 

We would walk Gir fairly often last summer.  A nice evening walk just our little family, PERFECT!

And then, one beautiful November day we found ourselves at PetSmart to get food for our chinchilla and they just happened to be having an adoption day for a local no kill shelter.  We didn't stop to look on the way in but while we were standing in the small animal (?) food aisle Pat looks at me and says, "Gir needs a friend."  Being a girl, when you get the green light for a puppy, your brain gets clouded with the thought of four little feet and puppy kisses and snuggling during naps.  Seconds later I found myself outside the store with no recollection of how I got there and honestly I didn't care.  I was looking at eight adorable German Sheppards mixed with, well we still don't know. I held two before our little Roxy escaped the cage and found herself in my lap that was all it took she was mine and I didn't care what I had to do for this cute little girl I was going to do it.

Roxy's first time on the leash was interesting and that is an understatement.  We assumed she would be a natural at this because all she had to do was follow her big bro that she absolutley idolizes. She didn't want to go anywhere and especially where daddy was leading her.  We made it half  a block (and we have REALLY small blocks) and Roxy decided to lay down on the side of the road she wasn't getting up, she wasn't following Gir and I, she said, "This is my spot and  I'm staying here" like she discovered a new country or something.  Her next walk she did pretty well until she got tired and set up the United States of Roxyia close to the end of the walk. 


This brings me to today.  I had been sick with a kidney infection for the last week and all three of us (Pat is currently deployed) had a bit of cabin fever.  Finally feeling well enough to get the pupulas out we waited until dusk and we collar and leashed up and headed out the door.  For some reason I thought they would take pity on me and be good since daddy wasn't here.  NOPE that didn't happen well Gir was good as usual but Roxy tugged, sat, wrapped me up in the leash and just plan went CRAZY.  We made it half a block because Roxy is afraid of teenage boys and wouldn't go past the baseball field bleachers where two dudes were sitting...

She is absolutely enamored with him.

I'd LOVE to hear your leash training disaster stories

Not A Positive Start....

I feel like the biggest jerk in the world now.  I was on my way to drill this morning and as I was exiting the highway halfway to the base I spotted a puppy running along the side of the road.  Inside a second I had a billion thoughts running through my head ranging from OMG WHO LEAVES A PUPPY ON THE HIGHWAY, to I should stop and get it ,then what if it has rabies, what if it runs into traffic as you try to catch it, once you catch it where are you going to put it at work....

Needless to say I didn't stop for the puppy, my negative, scared thoughts won over.  I felt guilty all morning I couldn't even eat breakfast.  I was so disappointed in myself thinking of the little puppy alone and afraid on the highway.  I thought about the poor little guy all day and on my way home I had to switch directions and make sure he wasn't still there or on the side of the road hurt or god forbid dead.



Thankfully some person who is better than I stopped for the puppy and saved it, I'm still disappointed in myself for not stopping but I'm happy imagining that someone got it to safety and someone is going to love the shit out of that lil guy!

Hello There!

Hi, I started out with IT Girl, but I might have possibly abandoned it. I think the main reason I couldn't write there anymore was it was a very unhappy space. I didn't know how to deal with life then and in no way am I a life expert, but being angry all the time is EXHAUSTING!

So, here I am happier (I am in no way saying I will not complain/vent here), no more figured out than before, and ready to entertain.